"When I wore a younger man's clothes..."

I've been spending the last little while going through photograph's left by my mom. She was an avid scrapbooker, so there are literally hundreds, if not thousands of them. It's like an endless nostalgia factory. My brother would tease me endlessly about doing it. I am one of those people who never lets go, fueled by a powerful memory for people and places (but ironically not for directions ;P). Still there were pictures of events I barely recognized, and events I could only piece together base don who was in the photo. It's strange to watch yourself go from a chubby naked baby to a chubby hairy dad with a whole lot of goofy kid, awkward teen, and ambitious college student in between.

The thing about the digital world is that you are free to sift through the past present and future and portray yourself however you would like (much to the chagrin of online daters). It's interesting to compare people you know in real life with the pictures and personas they present online. Some people will throw up a recent picture warts and all (some lucky people don't have any warts), others will use photos from years ago. Some don't use photos at all. No judgement, just observation (the sociologist in me will never die).

The picture attached to this post is of Amaryllis and I shortly after bringing Gabriel home from the hospital (Note: If my wife caught my using this picture of her completely exhausted after her first, roughest, and longest labor she would beat me. Thankfully the couch in the picture is long gone, so there is no risk of me sleeping on it.). I was a junior in college. Gabe was born during finals week. Boyish grin, woman that I was passionately in love with, my first child, and ready to kick the whole world's butt. I even loved that shirt (Amaryllis, what ever happened to that one...).

The reality is that I am not that person anymore. I'm a bit heftier, balder, and surlier on a Saturday morning. However, I love my wife more deeply (ten years on the 24th), I would do anything for my children, and there are some are some things I will never ever say in a public meeting again. I've lost some of my naivety, crusted a little bit more with cynicism, but have a much richer hope in the next generation. My back and neck hurt. I've made pancakes enough to perfect them as much as I will in this lifetime. I get to cheer my kids in Tae kwon do, and I usually know exactly how far I can tease my wife and which pranks are off limits (No cold water over the shower curtain.). By the time I go I hope I make many more memories without regretting too many of them.