Transitions

Next week my brother and I will be heading out to Utah to sort through Mom's stuff in preparation for here leaving her apartment. I don't really know what to think or feel. More than likely she will be going to live with my brother and sister-in-law in North Carolina. I don't think anyone in her family realizes what a tremendous strain it will be on them. My sister-in-law will more than likely have to quit her job at a time when my brother's career is still in flux due to a personal injury. Everyone assumes since they do not have children and both work that there is gold buried under the floorboards.

In the middle of it all I feel the worst because I live the closest yet don't seem to be able to help beyond visiting Mom two to three times a month and coordinating with friends and associates who check in with her daily. The salt in the wound comes into play from other family members who feel that I am failing her as a son.

The tricky part of it all is that Mom may yet live for several years. The chemo has been very effective, and Mom's CA-125 levels have been dropping. She has an excellent oncologist in Logan (affiliated with Huntsman, published, and able to try new regimes on top of being a compassionate man whose practice is two blocks from Mom's apartment) who has even waived all charges not covered by insurance or Medicaid. Once she is in a location where she will receive 24 hour supervision, and have a medic and a nurse monitoring her and making sure that she doesn't skip chemo or misuse medication its likely that her health will improve dramatically. Then what? She will have been moved cross country hundreds of miles from other family and friends... No answers... no witty responses... just frustration.

Entering Blogspace

Robert might be the gadget geek, but Amaryllis rules the net in our house. I thought I would have the reigning title having started with e-mail in '94, and still getting a nostalgic glow talking about using gopher back when the only meaningful things BYU had on their servers were scripts for The Princess Bride and Monty Python and the Holy Grail (I went to Utah State by the way, Aggies all the way :P).

I spent many an hour NannyMud in a telnet window when the phrase MMORPG referred either to a a pyramid scheme or a really crappy health care plan. I used UNIX for ArcInfo when I started learning GIS. I got twitterpated when USU actually created a navigation system for the academic databases (pre-Jstor even).

Amaryllis is part of the new generation. It started innocuously at first. She asked what I thought about having her own web page for her Close to My Heart (c)(tm)(lic.)(Oh gosh have I violated the terms of use in my first post) ventures. I thought it was a good idea, I mean how much trouble could be caused with a templated web page that you could drop in a little html for finesse now and then. Then I noticed the Google Talk icon in the menu tray. "Gmail what's Gmail sweetheart. What do you mean I have to be invited to join?"

I have been a longtime lurker on a number of forums, but the day I walked into the living room and caught Amaryllis posting on one made me white with fear. I was losing my grip. Soon she would be telling me shortcuts in MSOffice, and giving me that little look as she leaned over the keyboard to find a command nested three menues deep.

Facebook broke me, and I finally had to wade into the water. Why was everyone trying to hug me, poke me, sell me, and invite me to play Frogger? After I got the hang of Facebook, Amaryllis thought it was time for me to think about my own blog... "It's easy dear. It's all templated, but you can insert html if you want..." I cried like a child.

So here I am. My own little presence on the web. Amaryllis, how do I attach a photo to this thing...